SAC Challenge Week 2

Well, this week was such an interesting week, mostly because of the process I followed for writing the song. I'm truly amazed at how every idea morphed into something else, which led to the final song. 

The process:

The challenge this week was to write a song with a story. I immediately thought about a song I've been wanting to write, but hadn't been able to. It's about my dad, who has a hobby farm and had two horses that he loved, but on night they left their enclosure and one was hit by a car. Sad story...but I thought there was something there that I wanted to explore. I also had a clear idea of the type of song I wanted (see "The House that Built Me" by Miranda Lambert). I had one line:

He hung their names above each of their stalls. 

And then I stalled. I couldn't figure the angle to the story and how to develop it. It couldn't just be, "there's a farmer with two horses, one died, the end." And so I did a few writing exercises - came up with a bunch of words related to the farm, the horses, and then a bunch of rhymes. Still nothing. That was Sunday through Tuesday. 

Then I thought, two horses is too much for a story. I'll make it one horse. But then the horses die? Still, I had no story. Then I thought, what if he's taking down the name as opposed to putting it up. Mmmm interesting. And then I thought, well, why can't it be a woman farmer. So after all this, I had a new line. But still only one!

She took down his name from above the stall. 

So I kept thinking and wrote down a bunch of other words to describe horses and stalls and the farm. I thought about the show Heartland, which I've watched a few times - I had always wanted to write a theme song for it. Then I thought, it could be a girl who's off to college in the big city and has to pack up her things and leave her horse behind. I started writing...

She took down his name from above the stall. 
And all the medals they'd won that hung on the wall.
Packed up his harness and saddle and took one last look around.

Ok. I was getting somewhere. She was gonna miss this place. This was Tuesday night. 

I woke up Wednesday and while on the bus, I started thinking about that moment when you're about to leave a place, say goodbye to something or someone, and you just need one more minute to look around and cherish what was. And I started to write. 

The song: 

Now the type of song I wrote is a bit different than the Miranda Lambert song I was originally aiming for. It follows the same structure as the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins where the verses describe different moments in life and the chorus is there to remind you that you're gonna miss these moments so cherish them. In my song, I'm using the verses to establish a moment of goodbye - whether to a place or someone - and the chorus is asking for that extra minute or moment before having to go or say goodbye.  



ONE MORE MINUTE

Verse 1
She took down the photographs that hung on the wall 
Packed up her books and old teddy bears that laid on the floor 
18 years she’d known this place, through heartbreaks and mistakes 
But when her daddy said, “you ready to go?”, she looked at him and said 
  
Chorus 
Just give me one more minute 
I just need a little more time 
Give me on more moment 
Before I say goodbye 
To the house that raised me and where I had my first kiss 
And I’ll remember how it felt so I don’t forget 
Just give me one minute more 

Verse 2
Five years pass, she’s now a woman on her own 
With conviction and strength, and a place that she calls home 
Five years later she’s engaged, and ready for that step 
And when she says, “it’s time to go dad”, he looks at her and says 
  
Chorus 
Just give me one more minute 
I just need a little more time 
Give me on more second 
To be your only one 
My how you’ve grown into such a beautiful bride 
And I’ll remember how it felt so I don’t forget 
Just give me one minute more 
Just give me one minute more 

Verse 3
When he said no treatment please, I’ve had enough 
All the memories came rushing in, all that she’d miss and more 
30 years she’d known his face, the one that kept her safe 
And when the doctor said, “it’s time to go”, she looked at her and said 
  
Chorus 
Just give me one more minute 
I just need a little more time 
Give me one more moment 
With him to by my side 
To hold him close and tell him that I’ll be alright 
And remember how it felt so I don’t forget 
And remember how it felt so I don’t forget 
Just give me one minute more 
Just give me one minute more


The Initial Feedback

I've received great feedback from both North Easton and Rosanne Baker Thornley. I've tried making the imagery a bit stronger and staying away from cliches, but I've run out of ideas at this point!! So, it will have to do for now. Another key suggestion from North was to centre the connection to the father. I tried but got nowhere. Then I went back to the Trace Adkins song to see exactly how he does it.

His song:

V1 - girl can't wait to leave home
CH1 - Mom says you're gonna miss this
V2 - girl can't wait to get bigger house
CH2 - Dad says you're gonna miss this
V3 - girl makes excuses for her kids being loud
CH3 - plumber says you're gonna miss this

In this example, the constant is the girl always wanting something more with the choruses acting as someone telling her to cherish the moment along the way (mom, dad, plumber!). haha

In comparison, this is what happens in my song:

V1 - girl is leaving her home after 20 years, dad asks if she's ready to go...
CH1 - girl says she need one more minute...
V2 - girl is on her own about to get married, she asks dad if he's ready...
CH2 - dad says he needs one more minute...
V3 - girl receives call, doctor says it's time
CH3 - girls says, one more minute

So, it could get a little muddy and confusing to the listener. Also, in the first chorus, the girl is saying goodbye to the place while the other two choruses are about saying goodbye to someone. So, there :)  But, I really like what I have so far and am out of ideas! So, that's it. If you've made it this far in the blog, I'd love your feedback! 

Thanks for reading and listening!
Xo
Kristine










 

2 comments

  • Yves St-Pierre

    Yves St-Pierre The farm

    What does it me to me....

    What does it me to me....

  • RodneyStarr

    RodneyStarr Palma Sola

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    Thank you for sharing this wonderful post with us. I have never seen such blog post. It's totally new one for me. You are doing great work in this blog.Good job! If you want any essay papers or article visit : http://www.triumphessays.com/

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